


Bloom Later

by sweetd0ve



Category: Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Big Brother Dick Grayson, Brothels, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Graphic Description, Group Homes, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Gore, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Relapsing, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Slow Burn, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2019-10-16 20:41:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17552858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetd0ve/pseuds/sweetd0ve
Summary: NAMERichard John GraysonAGE21OVERVIEWRichard was orphaned at the age of 9, when his parents were murdered. Instead of being sent to foster care, he disappeared from custody and didn’t resurface until 2017 when he was found in a human trafficking auction. He was mute for the next 8 months and took extensive therapy while he stayed with a distant uncle. His relative passed away September 16th, 2017. Richard was relocated to live with Bruce Wayne, who had held a place for sanctuary to many other victims. He is to this day recovering, but had severe PTSD, Eating Disorders, and suffers from extreme Panic Disorder.DIAGNOSISNot dangerous to others, but to oneself. Has a history of self-harm and hallucinations that have influenced his risky actions.-Dick Grayson tries to live a normal life, despite all his past trauma, but it really is easier said than done.No Capes AU





	1. {1}

**Author's Note:**

> Short chapter, i promise future ones will be longer! This is really really rough, I'll probably rewrite the ending.

 

 

Dick hated the cold.

 

The lack of warmth had always made him feel as if he was dying.  
Even as a child, he thrived under the blazing summers rather than the harsh winters.

So it wasn’t a surprise to him when his anxiety spiked during November. The frosty chill bit his nose and burned his fingertips. He kept his hand firmly locked in Damian’s, who was ranting about a political topic Dick wasn’t interested in. His focus was on ignoring the overcoming numbness that was slowly creeping its way up his hand.

“It’s ridiculous really,” Damian huffed, his jade eyes set on the vibrant leafed trees they were walking past, “Putting hold on the entire government? Really Trump?”

Dick hummed his agreement, admiring the range of colors that the autumn leaves portrayed so beautifully. The walk home from school always held the most beautiful sights. since Damian’s school was built by a creek. Towering oaks littered the trail back to Wayne Manor, each giant its own unique palette of shades.

“Do you need a ride to Jon’s tonight, Dami?” Dick asked casually, glad to not be talking about something he didn’t understand. He could feel his little brother stiffen his grip slightly, and didn’t turn to meet his gaze.

“You’re driving again, Grayson? Even after last time...” An edge was clear in Damian’s cautious tone. In response, Dick narrowed his eyes, but understood the 11 year old’s concern.

He still remembered some parts of the event so vividly, even though he blacked out for more than half of it. It was early August, the summer breeze barely kicking in. Him and Jason were hanging out at the Manor binging Disney films and feasting on five different cereals. Then Jason had made an innocent suggestion of Dick driving them to Stephanie’s. It was Dick’s fault really, he should’ve known his reaction was bound to be horrible.

But he was trying to get better. For Bruce. For Damian. So he agreed to let Jason teach him some basics.

As soon as the engine roared to life, he was 16 again. His wrist were chained to the filthy floor of a van as he laid out on his stomach. A blindfold drowned him with darkness, yet he could almost see the hands clawing at his torso. He was naked, and a man was violently fucking him as the van shook with bumps and swerves. Everything blazed with agony, and his sobs were blocked by the constant bellowing of the van’s beat up engine. A harsh tug of his hair sparked pain to his scalp, the man mounting him whispering dirty words in his ear and promising to make him his whore.

Unbeknownst to Dick, he had such a vivid flashback that he didn’t even see himself as he reached over to the utility tool compartment, fished some scissors out, and stabbed his own thigh, just to feel something other than the brutal rape. It wasn’t until the sticky pool of red had overcome the black in his vision that he was brought back to Jason’s full on freak out session. The ambulance had arrived soon after, and 5 stitches were added to his collection.

He wasn’t ready to even get in a car again, but he was determined. He’d do better this time.

“Don’t worry about me, little D,” Dick grinned, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt, “I’ve got this.”

-

“No.”

“But Bruce-“

“I said no, Dick.”

Bruce’s slitted cobalt eyes screamed for the argument to end there, but Dick persisted.

“I’ll do better this time, I swear! Just start the car before I-“

“Dinah said until the summer, and that’s final.”

Dick abused his bottom lip, boring his glare deep into Bruce’s. Damian was upstairs with Alfred the Cat so he couldn’t overhear their quarreling in the kitchen, which was a relief.

“Dinah doesn’t need to-“

“Dick!” Bruce interjected, his face scrunching in frustration, “You have to take Dinah’s orders seriously. You can’t harm all the progress you’ve made. These things-“

“Take time, I know,” Dick finished with a heavy sigh, sinking onto one of the mahogany chairs, “But I hate this, Bruce! I hate... not being normal!” He scraped his nails against the arm of the seat, eyebrows knitted with hurt.

To this day, there were many things Dick wasn’t able to do without triggering his past. For one, he couldn’t drive. He couldn’t be alone for more than 24 hours. He couldn’t be touched without warning. He couldn’t be in small, confined spaces. He couldn’t feel anything brushing against his scarred wrists. He couldn’t be in a dark room. He couldn’t work, because of how many random triggers it would cause him. He couldn’t isolate himself, or he would lose his shit. And he couldn’t not eat. Bruce had been very adamant on the last one. Yet there were many more.

Nevertheless, he never felt ordinary. He doesn’t think he ever will but he really wants to try.

Bruce’s face softened at his outcry, and he closed some space between them.

“May I place my hand on your shoulder?” His adoptive father asked tentatively.

At Dick’s nod, he squeezed reassuringly. “It going to be alright chump,” Bruce promised, his voice laced with rare warmth, “You’re getting better by the day… Let’s just take it easy so we don’t go back to square one.”

Dick gave a genuine smile, but wished he could believe him.

-

Tuesday’s were his favorite.

He would slip on his comfortable yoga pants and thick cotton sweater and head to Some Like It Warm Yoga Studio. Thankfully, it was in walking distance, so he would just text Bruce he was going out, grab his yoga mat, and be on his way.

Jason, even though he was scarcely around, often accompanied him. He liked to think it was because he enjoyed Restorative meditation, but he knew it was Jason’s way of protecting him. From what? Well…

“Nice ass, sweetheart.” Dick repressed his groan of annoyance and walked faster, ignoring the creepy man tagging along his side. This was a weekly occurrence that failed to even faze him in the slightest.

Yet his nose still scrunched in disdain as he caught sight of the guy persiting to follow him down the sidewalk. “Where ya heading? I can give you ride, but we’ll have to stop at my place so I can show you how a real man feels like.”

Dick didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or punch this dude in his bearded face.  
He settled for rolling his eyes, to be safe.

And the douche bag didn’t take his response lightly.

Dick fought back a cry of surprise as the man pulled him back by the wrist with an painful grip, sending him staggering back.

“You disrespecting me, bitch?” He snarled, shoving his face alarmingly close to Dick’s. “Imma teach ya a lesson you won’t forget you mother-” Dick smashed his knee against Beard Face’s stomach, emitting a shriek from his attacker. The hold on his wrist was gone, though the searing burning remained. Dick knew it was a phantom sensation more than anything, but it didn’t stop his flinch.

Beard Face glared up at him, a hand clutching his belly, and raised a threatening fist only to be thrown onto his side by a harsh kick.  
Dick blinked in shock and then frowned. Of course he wasn’t alone.

“Touch him again, fuckface, and I’ll break all your fingers.” Jason’s low rumble sent shivers down Dick’s back. Times like these made him forget that Jason was two years younger than him.

Dick was cautiously ushered away by Jason’s warm hand, the taller man leading him towards the studio down the block. It gave him a brief second to examine Jason. The 19 year old was wearing a red tank top and black basketball shorts with his yoga bag strung under his muscled arm. The whole ensemble calmed him down with a rush of amusement.

Once they reached the deep violet atelier, Jason glanced at him with a swarming pale green gaze. “I’m so sorry, Dickie, are you okay? How’s your wrist? Are you hurt? I should’ve been there but Bruce didn’t even tell me-”

Dick cut him off with a soothing laugh.

“Jay Bird,” Dick hummed softly, weaving his fingers through his, “I’m alright. Not a scratch, see?” He tilted his wrist for Jason to see. It was decorated with ugly scars, but there was no bruising from today’s incident. Admittedly, It still stung from his brief set off, but he wasn’t about to worry his closest friend.

“Good, good,” Jason sighed, relief melting his glare, a hint of a smile twisting his lips, “I’m glad you’re okay. I was about to kill that asshole...”  
Dick chuckled wholeheartedly. “I believe you, Jay,” he teased, “I’m so lucky my best friend was here to save my life. How can I ever possibly repay you, Oh Brave One?!”

“Ha. I can see a tragedy hasn’t wiped your sense of sarcasm,” Jason played along with a grin, “Which is unfortunate.” Dick stuck his tongue out at him with feigned offense.

“You couldn’t live without my sarcasm, Jay. It’s absolutely the highlight of your week.” Jason rolled his eyes, though his smirk didn’t waver.

“Whatever, pretty bird. Let’s go, it’s time hold uncomfortable poses for an hour.”


	2. {2}

**FILE 002**

**NAME**

 

Jason Peter Todd

 

**Age**

 

19

 

**OVERVIEW**

 

Jason Todd was found by the police robbing a gas station in 2013, and later they found out he had been homeless for the past two years. His mother had passed from an overdose and his father wasn’t in his life. Bruce Wayne came across his case and took him into Wayne Manor. He’s one of his best success stories.

 

**DIAGNOSIS**

 

Can resort to his old, bad habits (check minor theft charges) but is generally a contributing part of society.

 

-

 

“Is your brother a model or something?”

 

Jason’s attention was snapped from his half eaten burger to Wally’s curious eyes, eyebrows arched in surprise.

 

“Uh, no dude. First off, he ain’t my brother,” Jason snorted, silently thinking that if he and Dick were related, the stuff they used to do was definitely illegal, “And he’s not. He’s another one of Bruce’s broken toys.”

 

Wally nodded slowly, yet didn’t look satisfied with his response.

 

“I saw that picture you posted on Instagram. He’s hot, bro.” The red-head pointed out in awe, as if it was a new discovery.

 

Jason made note to delete that post when he got home.

 

“Back off, he’s not stable.”

 

“Damn it. The pretty ones are always crazy.” His co-worker sighed, making Jason grit his teeth in irritation at his insensitivity.

 

Jason really hated people. Well, most people. His job at Wayne Social Services meant he was constantly surrounded by them, which he secretly loathed.

 

Nevertheless, he had a pretty good temp position here and was hoping for a promotion soon. His dingy apartment uptown was starting to bring him disdain.

 

“Breaks over, twats,” Artemis called out from the break room doorway, her locks of red hair swinging furiously as she turned around walked back to her desk. Wally ogled after her in his usual dopey manner all while Jason dumped his unfinished lunch and followed his best friend’s lead.

 

Once he was at his cubicle, he grabbed the frame next to his work computer. The picture was of him and Dick, cuddled together in the couch at Wayne Manor, him and Jason smiling like idiots. Tim had taken that picture, and given him the portrait for his birthday a few months back.

 

He loved to stare at it and remind himself, people aren’t so shitty after all.

 

-

 

“What happened yesterday, Dick?” Dinah asked from her spot in the session room, her face as placid as ever.

 

Dick bit his lip at the reminder.

 

“I was on my way to yoga and some pervert grabbed my wrist. I kneed him in the stomach and then Jason-”

 

“Jason was there?” Dick winced, Dinah’s voice dripping with disapproval.

 

“Well, yeah, we sometimes go to yoga tog-”

 

“Jason Peter Todd?” Dinah hissed, wanting further elaboration. Dick’s hand twitched in fair annoyance but nodded anyway in confirmation.

 

“Ah. Well, continue.”

 

“So yeah, Jason kicked this dude and then we went to class together. It was fun. I had a good time.” Dick recalled lightheartedly, a smile brushing his lips.

 

It didn’t stop Dinah’s calculating stare.

 

“How’s your wrist? Is the burning still there?”

 

“Nope. It only lasted a few minutes this time time. Okay well, maybe half an hour but it was faint towards the end.”

 

“That’s better than many times in the past. How are you feeling about all this?” Dinah went back to her gentle approaches, her mother hen expression returning.

 

Dick shrugged nonchalantly. “Honestly? It’s not bothering me too much. It was more of a mild inconvenience than anything.” Which was true. It made him warm with pride that he didn’t crumble over this experience.

 

“That’s amazing! We’re making some progress here.” Dinah praised,

scribbling something in her pale notepad.

 

The rest of therapy was great news of him improving and some brief discussion of nightmares, and by 2:30, he was heading to his uber. He had bid Dinah goodbye with a hug and was waiting outside the business complex for a White BMW to arrive when his phone buzzed.

 

_Jay bird <3 _

 

**i’m out work early**

**come over?**

 

Dick grinned, and typed a reply.

 

_Me_

 

**ofc :) be there in 15**

 

His ride then pulled up and Dick greeted his driver in his chirpy hello.

 

As he got in the car and settled in the seat, the doors locked and the car got going at an unusually fast pace. Dick frowned. Were they speeding? He craned his head to look at the number behind the wheel when he caught sight of the driver.

 

He hadn’t paid much mind to who it was when he’d gotten in, and now found himself surging with panic.

He recognized that man.

 

It was one of his regulars down at the brothel only 5 or 6 years ago.

 

His throat was feeling tight and he felt himself hyperventilating. Out of all the people in Gotham, this scumbag had to pick him up?

 

The man, Ruth,  as he liked to call him for his ruthless nights with him, hadn’t seemed to notice him or his distress.

 

15 minutes to Jason apartment….

 

Oh, God.

 

He attempted to calm himself with regulating his heightened breaths.

 

His mind was whirling, and he tried to scrambling for his phone.

 

“Everything alright back there?” Ruth’s scratchy familiar voice called, making Dick freeze altogether. Flashes of unwanted images blinded him, making him wail and scratch his eyes.

 

_“Stop it! Stop! Please!” Dick shrieked in agony, wilding yanking at his limbs that were chained to the bedposts as the man on top of him did as he pleased._

 

_Ruth snarled in response to his resistance and quickened himself, making Dick choke on his sobs and scream at the searing sensation._

 

_He was being torn apart, his insides-_

 

“Kid, what’s wrong? Are you alright? That’s it, i’m calling an ambulance, you’re bleeding mad-”

 

_-were being destroyed. At least, it felt like it._

 

_“You’re such a good fuck, kid,” Ruth moaned, digging his thick fingers into Dick’s strained arms, “Always know how make me-”_

 

“Dick? Dick? This is EMT Donna Troy, I need you to look at me, please?!”

 

_“Look at me.” Ruth demanded, his grip on Dick’s chin bruising. His entire body felt as if it was on fire. He could feel the cool blood coat the inside of his thighs at an alarming rate._

 

_Dick shut his eyes, refusing to stare at his rapists face. He wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of seeing him cry like this._

 

_A hard slap against his cheek made him gasp._

 

_“What’d I just say, bitch? Look at me!”_

 

_Dick eyes were instantly widened by instinct, and met Ruth’s murky brown one’s._

 

 _“You’ll never amount to_ anything, _” a brutal thrust  followed in emphasis, “But a good fuck. That’s all you are. A lifeless sex doll who doesn’t-”_

 

“Dick? I _need you to look at me.”_ This was spoken by a much softer tone, and tempted Dick to open his eyes. But what would see?

 

He didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to see Ruth’s sweaty brutish face with his triumphant smirk.

 

But something inside him stirred with a newfound will, and he obeyed the fussing nurse.

 

Which was a mistake.

 

Because his eyes hurt like a motherfucker.

 

Was he crying _blood?_ No, no, he had scratched his eyelids raw. Red was oozing down his cheekbones.

 

He studied his new surroundings, which was him sitting up on a stretcher in an ambulance. Donna was frantically dabbing a gauze on his face, and pulled away when she saw him blink down at her in surprise.

 

“Check his stats,” The sable haired woman ordered some other EMT, “He's back with us.”

 

Dick whimpered through his… sobs? _Since when was he crying?_ The bright light in the vehicle hurt to adjust to but he didn’t have much of a choice. _How much time had passed? What about Jason? He must be worried sick._

  
_What about Ruth?_  


"The man in the car," Dick choked out hoarsely, "I knew him."

 

Donna turned back to face him, eyebrows quirked up in some sort of conformation and concern.

 

"No. You didn't." The medic explained slowly, her tone almost apologetic, "Your driver was 53 year old Darcy Flourencia. Dick... There was no man."

 

Dick froze. Then how....?

 

"You were hallucinating. He was never even there." 

 


	3. {3}

He didn’t have much memory from _before._

 

His mind has wiped everything since the moment his parents died.

 

Dinah explained to him it was the way his mind dealt with trauma. It would block out all the torture, all the death, all the months in the brothels, all the auctions, all his past “owners”. His mind was void of what his body had endured for eight horrific years. But that meant that memories came back in vivid flashed at unpredictable moments or when he triggered something specific. He only wished he could regain aspects of his parents.

 

He can recall their faces. He could almost catch sight of his father’s broad features and blue eyes, and his mother’s softer appearance that resembled his own. They were falling, so far and so fast. Besides that, he had no recollection of _before._ It was stubborn haze that never cleared up.

 

He was again informed of their deaths when he was rescued, and it strangely didn’t hit him until months later. But he had just crawled out of an actual rape dungeon so his excuse for a late reaction was valid.

 

He sat in the hospital bed, wistful for his parents to be here. He had a feeling that they would have comforted his current state.

If only.

 

Instead, he had Damian.

 

The boy rested in the couch next to his bed. It was rare to see his young face so relaxed and not scrunched up in defiance. He truly looked like an angel.

 

When Bruce heard he was in the ER, he freaked and Damian had demanded to come along with him. It impossible to say no to a kid threatening you with a kitchen knife. At their arrival, Damian had fussed over Dick with raw concern that was a result of their close bond. Damian was the only who didn’t treat him like a porcelain doll, and as the boy napped beside him, he couldn’t be more grateful.

 

Bruce was outside the room on a call, Dick knew this because he could overhear his furious growls. He was probably speaking to the insurance company.

 

Carefully, Dick peeled the scratchy blankets off his body and slipped into the small bathroom. He made sure to close the door quietly as not to wake Damian and flicked his gaze towards the mirror. He outwardly whimpered.

 

His typically bright, cerulean eyes were dull and strained under the red streaks that coated his under-eyes. His hair was unkempt, not that it mattered much, but worsened his view. Dick grimaced and used the comb the hospital room provided to flatten the stray tufts.

Dick slumped back into bed just in time for Bruce to burst in the room, door slamming behind him. His face was flushed and his eyebrows were furrowed. Bruce seemed to be a cross between seething and panicked, but either way it was all concealed by his pressed lips.

 

“Dick. We need to talk…”

 

His heart sank. This wasn’t going to end well.

 

“The insurance representative just told me that we have to send you to a group home.”

 

Dick blinked several times.

 

“The social worker who is managing your case has threatened to sue the insurance company if they don’t cover this form of treatment. She’s saying it’s necessary for your recovery-”

 

“That’s bullshit!” Dick cried, his shock dissolving and morphing into outrage, “I can do treatment at the Manor, with you, Damian, Tim, Alfred-”

 

“I know you can,” Bruce cut in, “And I don’t agree with this decision. But she has a point. This is your third hallucination these past few weeks and you’ve had dozens of flashbacks. It’s time to try some other form of help.”

 

Dick couldn't believe this. He felt betrayed, enraged, and anguished all simultaneously.

 

“There’s nothing we can do. The lawyers will step in if we don’t do this the nice way.” Bruce mourned. Dick tightly fisted the blanket he was holding. This wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be real… The Manor had been his home for two years now and leaving it would be the end to his carefully put together world.

 

“Where will I go?” Dick whispered, voice tight with grief.

 

“The Hickory House is a recovery group home just outside of Gotham. We can do some research on the area and plan for an apartment when you move onto day treatment.” Bruce suggested, to which Dick reluctantly nodded.

 

Hickory seemed like a placid establishment. It was hidden in the thick forest of pines and isolated from the noisy Gotham roads. The cabin styled institution gave rustic feel that was aesthetic to look at. It didn’t seem so bad.

 

That didn’t mean Dick would happily move out of the Manor just like that.

 

“So what?” Dick began shakily, shoving the laptop off his legs where Bruce had placed it, “I leave Gotham for a few months. And then what? I come back just to get stolen from home again?"

 

That’s all the Dick knew in this twisted world. The stabbing flame of longing.

 

Bruce looked crestfallen.

 

“You’ll come back and everything will go back to normal. It’ll be so much easier for you to live your life instead of constantly fighting it. I believe this will help you, Dick, I really do…”

 

Tears stung his eyes. He wanted to scream, _I thought I was already normal!_ He had really tried to be.

 

But all Dick did was nod, as always, and let life fuck him over for the hundredth time.

* * *

 

“You’re _what?!_ ”

 

Jason’s hiss did nothing to disturb Dick’s focus on lighting his cigarette. Once the beautiful flame danced on the bud, he pressed the thin roll of poison against his lips. He breathed in the musky fumes, relishing the calm that washed over him. He didn’t smoke regularly. It was habit that formed only whenever he craved control.

 

“Leaving,” Dick huffed, “The insurance pricks are forcing me to live at a looney bin or they’ll sue. It’s going to be weeks of consecutive therapy and meditation. Maybe some yoga, hopefully. They better at least have weed, though. I’m ‘ _mentally fucked_ ’, after all. I have an excuse.”

 

While Dick gushed in a bland tone, Jason had stood from his side of the couch and now hovered over him. They were back at Jason's apartment in Star City, three days after the accident.

 

“You can’t be serious? Can’t Bruce just pay them off?”

 

“It’s more complicated than that.” Dick sighed, taking another long drag. He didn’t push to expand on his statement, though.

 

Moments of silence trickled by, Jason just standing over him absolutely dumbfounded.

 

He halfway through his cig when Jason plucked it from his dainty fingers and took a hit. “This is fucking _bullshit._ ” Jason seethed through his exhale.

 

“I said the same thing.” Dick agreed.

 

“What are _we_ going to do?” Jason's distraught tone made Dick shift uncomfortably. “Jay, you’re my…” He paused to think, scrambling for the right words, “...my fucking everything. I don’t know how the hell I'm doing this without you.” He really didn’t. He was going to miss his company the most out of everyone's.

Jason handed the cigarette back to Dick. “You’re the toughest person I've ever met, Pretty Bird. You can get through anything.”  

 

Dick didn't respond. He smoked three more cigs in silence while he nestled onto Jason’s shoulder.

 

Then he cried.

 

He cried because he couldn’t remember his parents, the first people to ever love him. He cried because no one was there to look for him when he was kidnapped the night his parents died. He cried because of the phantom touches that made him want to tear his skin off. He cried because he was so fucked up, and Jason was so fucked up, and it was so beautiful to just _lay there_ together, in a muted comfort that only they shared. It was like a secret only they knew. The terrifying truth about how shitty the world is. And how they could only really trust each other, victims of the universe’s never ending rage. Because the two of them were _perfect_ in their minds. Not one of them were flawed, or broken enough to be tossed into a group home, in their eyes.

 

“Jason. Jason. I need you. I can’t do this.” Dick sobbed.

 

Jason cupped his hands around his face, leaning in with the cigarette breath they both had. His lips brushed Dick’s in bitter acceptance of his leave.

 

“I love you. Of course you can.”

 

They stayed there all night.

 

And told the world to go fuck itself.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dick smokes cigarettes, deal with it.


	4. {4}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but i needed a lighter one before i started to write some pretty dark shit.  
> Also, Rose and Dick are roommates because Dick doesn't do well around male figures.  
> Comment what you think because my my comment section is getting a lil lonely yikes

As it turns out, The Hickory House didn’t end up being so bad. Sure, his roommate kept Dick up until 3:00 am with her inchorent mumbles, and sure, his fellow patients were overall nutcases (not that he was much better) that genuinely scared him. But overall, as long as he kept in touch with his family twice a week, he found himself at peace.

 

Most of the time.

 

“You ever think about the fact that skunks are just cats who fucked up on their highlights?” Rose pondered out loud from the bed across from his several feet away. It was another late night in the Hick House, as Dick liked to call it, and he had already given up in the idea of a goodnight's sleep due to Rose’s chattering.

 

“What does that make leopards?” Dick decided to play along, turning to his side so he could face the platinum haired girl. Rose was 15 years old and could pass for a fairly ordinary person, until you looked at her arms. They were littered with scars, the pale lines decorating her limbs like tiger stripes. She had an eyepatch over one icy blue orb and her neck had one long previous blemish around it. She was fairly new to the facility too, arriving the week before Dick did.

 

“Hmm… that’s a toughy… oo, they’d be freckled cats!” Rose exclaimed, followed by fits of giggles. Dick himself chuckled in amusement. In an odd way, she reminded him of Damian. They were polar opposites, so he figured it was their shared youth that held the connection.

 

“Cats are pricks.” Rose confessed once she settled down, lowering her voice as if it was some big secret. Dick grinned. “Uh, I beg to differ. They have natural eyeliner, for starters-”

 

“So do I!” Rose interjected, batting her sable eyelashes to emphasize her point.

 

“No you don’t, Rose,” Dick corrected in a teasing manner, “Those are dark bags because you never fucking sleep.”

 

“Wow, Dickie! Low blow… not as low M’s voice though, huh? What’s with you two anyways? Are you guys secretly boning in the pantry?” Rose waggled her eyebrows and made kissing noises, only to get a pillow chucked into her frisky smirk.

 

“Shut up…” Dick groaned, rolling over to have his back to his roomie after sticking his tongue out with mock hurt, “We’re _friends.”_

 

“Friends my ass! I see him staring at _your_ ass _all the time!_ It’s totally gross, ‘cause it happens when we’re all eating together at the cafe.” Rose snorted, making her best gagging face to express the extent of her disgust.

 

Dick felt himself blush furiously. He hadn’t noticed M ever did that. Because frankly, calling him a friend was bit of a stretch in itself.

 

Midnighter mainly kept to himself during the day, but liked to hang out with the group after all the therapy sessions. He was a huge flirt and was pretty charming. He was intimidating at times but was fun to be around with his snide comments and sarcastic outlook.

 

Plus he was able to smuggle a few packs of Marlboros, so him and Dick spent most late nights smoking together in the forest while staring at the stars and watching the silver fumes join the clouds up above.

 

That’s all that was all that was to it. Admittedly, M had tried to hit on him a few times but Dick always declined. If M knew what he was in for, he probably wouldn’t even flirt with him. But every patient’s file is confidential so he had no way of knowing.

 

“You’re full of shit, Wilson.” Dick remarked half jokingly. He could hear Rose’s triumphant smirk in her voice.

 

“Well, you’re full of coc-” Her retort was cut short by loud banging against the thin doors.

 

“Quiet down! Some of actually _want_ to get some rest.” The patronizing demand belonged to none other but Ivy. The ginger women in her mid twenties was an honest bitch. She’s reduced various other patients to tears and had gotten threatened to be kicked out various times. Dick wasn’t sure what she was in for exactly, but he heard from Michael say that it was a natural disasters that traumatized her for life.

 

Once Ivy’s thundering footsteps faded into an echo, Rose let out a crazed giggle and gave Dick a salute drenched in feigned dismay.

 

“This is it, partner. We’ve made it so far, but now we’ve really done it. The wicked witch of Gotham has surrounded us at all sides and now we _must_ surrender. It’s been an _honor_ and a _privilege_ to fight alongside you.” Rose recited dramatically with pretty impressive acting skills. She wriggled violently in her bed for her final act of a ‘realistic’ death, letting out gasps of, “Tell my mother I-” _wheeze_ “love” _wheeze “-_ her!”

 

Dick laughed sincerely, then shushed her so he could pile blankets over his head. He basked in silence for less than two minutes before Rose spoke once again.

 

“Hey Dick?”

 

“Yes, Rose?”

 

“I was only kidding about the death part.”

 

“I know.”

 

“The last words, I mean… I don’t love her. She’s a bitch.”

 

“I know.”

 

“She ruined my life.”

 

“I know.”

 

“So don’t tell her that when I die. Instead say something cool, like, ‘Ya Basic!’ And then give her the finger for me and tell her I burned her entire CD collection last summer and I don’t regret shit.”

 

“Okay.” _Silence again._

 

“You promise?” There it is.

 

Dick shut his sore eyes, already sinking into a deep sleep and barely hanging on to mumble, “I promise.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. {5}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah uh  
> this is um  
> boring.  
> IM SORRY :(  
> inspo has been low, plus i need a domestic chapter before everything goes to hell. Which it will, super soon.  
> Leave your comments down below my dudes, they help w motivation

It was like having a constant headache. That’s how Dick viewed his condition. But instead of taking two advils, he took six different medications every day

 

“I hate these pills,” Rose commented tartly as they both chugged the container of multicolored tablets that were given after breakfast.They were still sitting at the table, both of their meals finished.

 

Leslie, the assistant nurse at the group home, eyed the teenager warily.  

 

After Dick was done, he rose from the table, thanked Leslie, and retreated back into his room. He had 15 minutes before sunrise yoga so he quickly slipped into a oversized, white, wool turtleneck and comfortable leggings. He despised having his neck exposed. No amount of therapy could ever fix that.

 

“Where you going?” Rose cried out as Dick made his way towards the door. “I have morning yoga, I’ll be back soon.” Dick promised. He knew she was going to be extra clingy today, since it was his last at the facility. His counselors had determined that he was ready to move onto day treatment. Thankfully, the group home was near Star City so he would be moving in the same hall as Jason’s apartment, which was exciting. He hadn’t seen much of him these past 5 months.

 

And with that, he joined a few others with the instructor as the stretched among the pale beach. It was still chilly, despite the warmer season, since it was barely 6:23 am. Ivy was leading the session with Harley, a new member to the Hickory House. Ivy had become very smitten with her really fast.

 

Dick copied their poses and breathing methods alongside his best friend, Roy.

 

Roy has been at The Hick House for 2 years now, on and off. He was the adopted son of a billionaire who he described as an “uptight asswipe”. His struggle with alcohol and drugs had landed him here.

 

Ivy shifted her stance to downward dog, and everyone followed. Dick repressed his eye roll as he could almost feel Roy’s gaze on his ass. “Keep your eyes on the waves, Harper.” Dick hummed in amusement and he didn’t have to look to know Roy’s face flushed crimson.

 

Once the sun shone warmly into the crashing tides indicating it was 8:00 am, the class ended. Roy and Dick walked back together towards the house.

 

“Can’t believe you’re leaving me here, Dickhead.” Roy sighed as they weaved past a towering pine , “All these people are lame. You’re kind of cool, I guess.”

 

“Well, that's high praise,” Dick mused, dodging a stray branch, “Don’t worry. I’ll visit you as often as I can.” That was a promise he was sure he would follow through with. Roy and Rose has become his dearest friends, and a life without them seemed dull. He would miss Rose’s quirkiness and sarcasm the most.

 

The rest of the day flew by fast.

 

He played chess with Rose, let her win, and then they watched Lilo & Stitch together in the TV room. Rose’s imitation of Stitch was  with concerning accurate.

 

By 5:30 pm, he had already packed his few belongings and was making his way to May’s office a few doors down the hall. May was a cheery woman in her 40's that had been Dick’s psychiatrist through his current treatment. She had helped. A lot. And so did the medications. He was now able to take his daily doses without having a panic attack due to the horrible memories swallowing pills ignited.

 

He now sat in May’s plush chair that was facing her, a smile already plastered on her sharp features. He relaxed under the essential scents clouding the room. She tapped her clipboard and commenced their last session.

 

“Richard, have you felt that our time together has improved your condition and benefited your mental and physical health?” May asked, her tone holding it’s usual warmth. Today, though, he could hear the underlying sadness.

 

“Yes. I really think I’m able to _live_ now, you know? Instead of just surviving.”

 

May scribbled on her notepad for a moment.

“That’s great to hear. You’re going to live a beautiful life, Dick Grayson.”

 

Those last words made his heart flare with hope. He could finally believe things would go smoothly from now go.

 

May went on with her evaluation questions, to which he answered with newfound confidence.

 

At last, they wrapped up the session with watery eyes. Dick said his goodbye with as much gratitude as he could muster. May made him promise to visit.

Then he scurried to his room for the final time, grabbed his bag, cried with Rose as he clutched her tightly, and left.

 

Just like that, his sanctuary was snatched away from him.

 

And as he walked outside the Hickory House, the evening breeze blowing past his face gracefully, he felt the sweet sense of freedom he had longed for. He was going to live with Jason, his best friend in this half glass of a world. He couldn’t be happier.

 

Little did he know, he was terribly wrong.


	6. {6}

It was around his third owner that he learned obedience.

 

This particular man was roughly around his late 40’s. He owned his own company and was incredibly wealthy. That’s how he was able to afford Dick during the horrific auction. Truthfully, Dick was too caught up listening to his own gasping breaths from being so chokingly tied up to overhear how much he ended up being sold for.

 

The man never gave him his real name, though he was able to catch it from a phone conversation he had once had. His name was Slade Wilson, from what he’d heard. The man was, admittedly, a silver fox but that meant nothing to the amount of cruelty he caused Dick to endure.

 

When Dick had first arrived, he had locked him in a tiny but well supplied room. It had a thin mattress with a scratchy blanket, no pillow though. The walls were a brilliant white that somehow spiked his anxiety even more. A cluster of old novels bordered one of the bumpy walls. But what thrilled Dick the most was he had his own private bathroom that had lilac shampoo and body wash, and even a razor. He was surprised about the last item, since most practical people would’ve preferred to keep their victims away from sharp items. They were scared a slave would slit their wrist and bleed out. Sometimes, Dick wished he had taken that opportunity.

 

The days rolled past with pure isolation. It wasn’t so bad. He was used to it from previous experiences. He had grown to enjoy the calm before the storm. But it didn’t last. Day 4 rolled by and Slade finally noticed his existence. He ordered Dick to follow him. Dick didn’t obey. He was finally in clean clothes, clean body, and the books he had read helped soothe his mind.

 

 _I’m so tired of this shit!_ He had remembered thinking as he yanked his arm away from Slade’s hold. He was done with the consistent violations to his broken body.

 

Slade hadn’t liked that very much.

 

It was the most painful night of his entire life. Aside from having his virginity stolen from him at the tender age of 9. To this day, the letter _S_ was still engraved into his back. Most of his wrist and ankle scars occurred during his time with Slade.

 

He can recall exactly when his spirit broke and he gave into the rape and the torture. It was that night. And he remember Slade’s wild eyes as he pressed him against his own once white mattress that now blossomed with red splotches. His thighs and back were coated with blood. “Remember this, kid,” Slade had said, face hovering over Dick’s sobbing one, “You’re not a person. You’re an object _._ You’re here to sit still and look pretty, you hear? If anyone valued you, the cops would’ve found you by now. No one is looking for you because no one loved you. _You don’t matter._ ” He hissed, and Dick had cried harder. If that was even possible.

 

In that moment, he understood. It was easier to give in and obey instead of struggling against his restraints.

 

It wasn’t worth the pain.

 

-

 

He was walking this time.

 

Dick didn’t want to get into a car just yet because of his last incident. Jason’s apartment wasn’t that far, anyway. It was a fifteen minute walk.

 

He arrived at the lanky, worn down apartment complex just as the sun disappeared under the clouds. Several bricks were out of place along the neat stacks. Dick thought it made the entire establishment look less intimidating.

 

He was greeted by a grey haired woman hunched over a sleek, round desk. “Where ya heading’, hun?” She purred, dark eyes twinkling with genuine hospitality. Dick recited the app number and she kindly directed him down the hall.

 

Even the door looked a bit rough, with olive paint peeling in certain areas of the plank. Nevertheless, Dick tightened his grip on his luggage handle and knocked twice.

 

It took a few moments, but Jason did open the door eventually. And when he did, Dick was immediately tugged into an crushing embrace.

 

If I had happened months ago, he might’ve been set off. But he was able to remain perfectly at ease and he wrapped his arms around his lower torso in return.

 

“DICKIE!” Jason exclaimed with raw relief , “I’ve missed you so fucking much!” When he pulled away, Dick was able to examine the face he longed to see. Jay has grown thin stubble along his jaw, and it looked good. Besides that, he looked the exact same. And that comforted Dick, to know that one thing remained constant.

 

Jason grabbed his bag and hauled it inside as he chatted away about his promotion at work. Dick nodded along, impressed at his accomplishment.

 

As Jason set his bag on the same kitchen counter Dick had eaten cereal on countless of time before, he noticed something weird. A long trench coat was bend over the coach, one he had never seen before. It wasn’t Jay’s style, he noted in alarm. Jason wore leather, not denim. Then, the bedroom door creaked open and tall figure stepped out. Dick froze.

 

It was man who was at least 30, with a set of mousey hair that was expertly combed. He had a smirk on his thin lips when he saw Dick staring in shock.

 

“Who the hell are you?” Dick spluttered, his body tense. Jason shot him an apologetic look. And then everything went rushing back. Jason’s absence these past months. His nervous tone when Dick called and those few times he actually picked up. Jason had been _avoiding_ him. Now he knew why.

 

“Shit, sorry Dick!” Jason grinned, though it was strained, “This is my boyfriend. Roman.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe ;)


	7. {7}

> Dick was aware that the world kept going even if you weren’t around.

 

He remembered the first time it really hit him. That no one was going to save him.

 

He was 10 and still trapped in the brothel. All he has to call his own back then was a tiny, concrete cell with no bed. The cool stone floors were a strange comfort in that moment. It was all he had know for over a year.

 

That day had been rough. He had seen 7 clients, all equally brutal. One, though, had used some sort of fear gas that was going around in the streets. The drug’s effects had been terrifying. That’s when his first hallucinations began.

 

The tiny cell was in flames. The fire licked the ground below him as he kicked and screamed until his voice went hoarse. Something was pinning him down. It was the devil, he knew deep down. Even as a child he could sense the evil weighing him down, scratching and biting and ripping gashes in his bruised flesh.

 

The spot where his head thrashed was pooled with tears.

 

He screamed. No one answered.

 

He hurt. No one cared.

 

He cried. No one was there.

 

No one was ever there, Dick realized. The world went on without him.

 

It always had.

 

-

 

“Nice to meet you, Roman.” Dick greeted with feigned sweetness, taking Roman’s offered hand and shaking it. He had a tight grasp and he struggled not to wince.

 

“As to you, beautiful.” The man spoke with an eloquent and smooth voice, one that a businessman would have. Dick simply nodded, his head still spinning.

 

Of course Jason had a boyfriend. He shouldn’t be surprised.

 

It’s not like they promised to wait for Dick to get better. For what exactly? Dick didn’t even know. There was just something… _there_ between the two. Secret kisses that they never brought up.

 

For some reason, his gut churned with familiar dread.

 

“Alright, let me show you to your room.” Jason suggested brightly, ushering Dick to a door across from what he assumed was Jason’s and Roman’s bedroom.

 

The space was smaller than his place at The Hickory House, but he didn’t mind. The walls were a pastel yellow with a white dresser, sheets, headboard, and desk. Dick had to admit, it was really cute.

 

Dick smiled, though it felt oddly forced for once. “Thank you so much, Jay. I really appreciate what you’re doing for me.” He said sincerely, which made Jason's lips imitate Dick’s. “Anything for my Pretty Bird,” Jason dismissed but there was something so _wrong_ in the way he spoke. As if he were hesitant. It made Dick uneasy.

 

Jason offered to take him out to dinner, which Dick agreed to. Only because he added that Roman wouldn’t be joining them.

 

They went to a Japanese Grill down the road. It was Dick’s favorite type of food.

 

“So, how was your treatment?” Jason began casually, “Made any friends?” Dick pursed his lip. _You would know if you would’ve talked to me, at all._ He thought spitefully.

 

“A few.” Dick said instead, a pleasant smile curving his mouth. Jason nodded, his finger drumming against the table a bit obnoxiously. “Meet anyone?” He pressed and the whole mood shifted. Oh so _this_ is it’s about.

 

“No. I was only there for recovery, Jason.” Dick retorted rather coldly. Jason blinked slowly before falling into a mess of blubbering. “No- I- I didn’t mean… I mean I _know..._ I was just wondering, is all. It been a few months.”

 

Dick wanted to ask if Jason had ever wondered about _him._

 

“No, I totally get it, don’t worry. Yeah… it’s still a no.” Dick reassured wryly. Jason nodded curtly and looked down at his plate stacked with soy noodles.

 

It became quiet.

 

“How’d you meet Roman?”

 

Dick was so irritated. Sadly for him, it was the only other topic he could think of to discuss.

 

Jason beamed at the mention. “He was my boss, actually. Back at Wayne Incorporated. He was the one to promote me.” Dick raised his eyebrow in alarm but remained nonchalant.

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah… He's the best. We’ve been together for four months now.”

 

“That’s great.”

 

Silence.

 

Jason cleared his throat awkwardly. “Do you want to take the rest to go?” He offered, waving towards Dick untouched meal, “I have to get up early for work tomorrow.”

 

_Of course you do._

 

“That’s fine.”

 

_It wasn’t._

 

-

 

It was hard for Dick to fall into his usual sleep. He held off from his two night medications because he hadn’t eaten anything. _Not even five hours out and you’re already messing up everything you’ve worked for,_ A disapproving voiced tsked in his head. Probably Damian if he was being honest.

 

So he forced himself upright and headed into the kitchen. It had been 2 hours since Jason had joined Roman in what he learned was their shared bedroom. Dick didn’t comment on it. Though he wanted to.

 

He cautiously flicked the light switch on and sneaked across the tile. He opened the orange container lid and snagged two pale blue tablets. They were to help him sleep and drown out his anxiety.

 

He took three doses of his usual sleeping pills.

 

Dick lazily crawled back into his soft nest of blankets, grateful for nice place to sleep at last. Then he drifted into a wonderful dream.

 

At least he wished that was what happened next.

 

He stiffened when he heard the door creak open. Soft footsteps grew closer and closer.

 

_No, no, no, no, no!_

 

Dick didn’t move a muscle. He remained still. He knew that the moment he opened his eyes something bad would happen. It always did.

 

Just when he began to wonder if he was hallucinating that, a cold hand brushed his cheek and Dick held back a chortled scream.

 

“Soon.”

 

That single word made his heart race and froze his entire soul. He wanted to open his eyes. He _needed to see._

 

Yet he it wasn’t necessary. The breezy undertone struck familiarity with him. The realization would forever haunt him.

 

That voice belonged to Roman.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> muahahaha 
> 
> okay my dudes almost done with chapter 8
> 
> BTW I've been posting super consistently you're welcome lmao


	8. {8}

The sun had barely peeked through Dick’s slitted curtains when he woke up.

 

It had been impossible for him to sleep on his own but thankfully, the pills had their effect and he out in half an hour after the terrifying interaction.

 

Speaking of which.

 

He threw the cover off his trembling body and stumbled into the bathroom. He flicked the lights on and faced his reflection. He looked normal and healthy but his cheek stung with a burn he recognized.

 

_You were probably dreaming. You had three doses instead of one, you idiot,_ Dick reasoned to himself. Shaking off the last of his stress, he slipped into a pair of hugging leggings and an oversized maroon hoodie he stole from Jason right before he left.

 

“Morning, Dickie!” Jason chirped from his place on the stove. Dick breathed in the sweet scent of crepes. “Jay Bird,” Dick almost purred, leaning in to hug his friend in greeting, “You didn’t have to make me food. I could’ve just-”

 

“Eaten cereal?” Jason finished in amusement, “You know, there’s more to a meal than almond milk and fruit loops.” Dick frowned and gave Jason the finger jokingly. “Cereal is one of the finer foods in life.” He retorted with equal playfulness.

 

Jason and Dick sat down to eat in his table, the view of the city outside his window. “I thought you were going to work early today?” Dick questioned, sparing Jason a confused side glance. He was sure it was at least seven in the morning.

 

“Nah, Roman decided to leave early and let me drive you to the Hickory House.”

 

Dick stiffened and wet his lips nervously.

 

“Jason….” He started, not sure if he should even tell him what happened, or what he _think_ happened, “Last night I heard-”

 

Jason’s phone rang, the tone blasting and interrupted Dick mid confession.

 

“Sorry hold on… Hello? Oh hey Roman. Yeah he just woke up. I’m taking him in a few minutes, why? Yeah of course I can bring some coffee. Okay. Yeah. Love you, bye.”

 

_Love you, bye._

 

Dick swallowed harshly, the once delicious food turning to dust in his mouth. Jason pocketed the device again and looked up to meet Dick’s wide eyed gaze.

 

“Sorry, you were saying?”

 

His throat itches all of the sudden. It felt like claws were crawling up and he struggled to take a deep breathe.

 

“Nothing.” Dick replied tightly, his voice quieter than he intended. Jason shot him a disbelieving glance and looked like he was going to press further but Dick rose from the table and walked back to the room that was no longer safe.

 

_Soon._

 

-

 

“How was your first night?”

 

Susan was a young woman who looked fresh out of her education. She had blonde hair that cascaded over her shoulders like splain wheat. She was his new therapist now that he moved to day treatment.

 

Dick analyzed the question. What could he say? _Hey Susan, I had a horrible night because I think my best friend’s boyfriend will try to molest me. Also, I took too much of my prescription at once and didn’t eat. So basically it was just peachy._

 

“It was okay.”

 

Her glossy mouth twisted into a bad attempt of a real smile.

 

“That’s fantastic! How are you feeling?”

 

_Like shit._

 

“Great, thank you.”

 

A manicured claw rose to pinch her bottom lip.

 

“Hmm, okay! Describe your room for me, please?”

 

It was a common exercise to work his mind. Plus, Dick liked words and how easily they could flow into one another. It was one of the only things that made sense to him _._

 

“The walls are really soft shade of yellow. It’s smaller than my room here but I love it…”

Dick tuned himself out as he spoke and let himself slip into his thoughts.

He desperately tried to pin a past face to Roman’s, but to no avail. His memory never did him any favors, anyway.

 

After the session, he was free to find his old friends in the center and socialize. He spotted Roy immediately, slouching against the TV Room couch. His visors hung low on the bridge of his nose as his jade eyes darted to meet Dick’s.

 

“DICKHEAD!” Roy shrieked, staggering to his feet and dashing forward to pull Dick into an embrace.

 

Dick felt himself the most relaxed in the past 12 hours at this exact moment.

 

“I’ve only been gone for a night.” Dick reminded Roy fondly, who was acting like it’d been years. But honestly, in a strange way, it felt that way.

 

“Bro, guess who got kicked out last night?!”

 

“Who?”

 

“Ivy and Harley.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

Roy’s face slackened, his precious excitement gone. “Harley had an episode and stabbed Ivy in the leg with her plastic fork. Ivy wasn’t upset, but she punched one of the nurses when they tried to grab Harley. It was awful. Then Ivy said fuck you to everyone and left with her. They haven’t been able to track them all night.”

 

Dick grimaced. That was horrible.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Silence overtook the space, but this one was comforting. It was one he could easily sink to.

 

“So, do you want to organize Rose’s closet? You know how much she loves her mess. It’ll really piss her off.” Roy proposed with a mischievous smirk. Dick pretended to think about it. He was actually planning to prank Rose back from the time she bleached his hair blonde but his departure had distracted him.

 

Dick took Roy’s hand as his friend, who smelled like weed and sanctuary, led him away.

 

-

 

“How was it?”

 

Jason’s sudden question made his face jolt up. They were currently back at his apartment, sitting at his rustic table while they all ate dinner. Jason hadn’t lost his touch in the way he prepared meals because his cucumber salad was delicious, though he could hardly tell due to the acid building up in his throat.

 

“I don’t want to talk right now.” Dick muttered, lowering his gaze once more. He wasn’t trying to come off as rude but he was a bit annoyed. Jason had been 2 hours late to pick him up from The Hickory House. He wasn’t upset at that, since he knew this schedule would take some time to get used to, but what irritated him was his excuse.

 

“Roman needed me to run a last minute errand i’m so sorry, Dickie…”

 

It made him grit his teeth just recalling it. Jason wasn’t some sort of _housewife_ . Roman shouldn’t be giving him orders like some kind of _dog._ Dick knew Jason, and he didn’t take orders from anybody. This was all completely out of character for him.

 

“Okay,” Jason replied with a slight edge to his voice, and then engaged in small talk with Roman, who was eating right next to him.

 

Dick forced himself to nibble the bumpy end of the sliced cucumber in an attempt to gain back his appetite. He wasn’t very successful, though.

 

Jason stopped his ongoing conversation and turned to him with a frown. “You know you have to finish that, right?” Dick blinked up at him guiltily. “Yeah, sorry… Just the meds side effect is appetite loss so it’ll take a while. You guys don’t have to wait for me to be done.” He ignored Roman’s withering glare.

 

“Nonsense! Jason, why don’t you run down the store and get us some drinks? This will definitely boost your metabolism.” Dick wanted to protest that he didn’t consume alcohol, it was strictly prohibited for his recovery, but Jason was already grabbing his coat.

 

“Great idea, babe. I’ll get some champagne to celebrate Pretty Bird’s amazing progress. Be back in a few.” Jason praised, grabbing his keys and shutting the door behind him.

 

Dick’s grasp on his fork tightened to the point that his knuckles turned white.

 

"So Dick," Roman's husky voice made him tremble violently. He kept repeating no in his head to distract him from the man approaching.  _This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t-_

 

"Can you get down on your knees for me, please?" The polite tone was mocking. Dick refused to make eye contact but remained in his seat and prayed to the Universe that this had to be a hallucination.

 

Roman grabbed his shoulder with so much force that he couldn't retain his frightened whimper.

 

"Okay then. I guess we're going to have to do this the hard way."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the support in the comments, the make me really happy :')


	9. {9}

He was all alone again. 

 

He had slipped into the blank void of his mind and disappeared from reality. It had been routine at some point of his life so he didn’t struggle to fall back into his old habits. 

 

The ‘void’ was a field of dancing wildflowers, cool gusts of winds directing them towards him invitingly.  _ Come here,  _ They seemed to say,  _ It’s safe now.  _

 

The sky was brighter than he’d ever seen it, since Gotham city was always grey with smoke. The golden sun beamed down on him with winsome rays. 

 

_ It’s safe now,  _ The delicately petaled blooms cooed, hoping to lure him into a sea on nothingness. 

 

He felt flattered at their kindness so he tried to smile. It would’ve worked if in reality there wasn’t a cock forcing its way into his mouth. 

 

His vision blurred and he struggled to focus on his surrounding. Everything was blacking out. 

 

Here he was, on his knees, face lifted by sharp fingers digging harshly under his chin. 

 

“Good boy.” A deep purr sounded above him making his conscious scream at him to fight his hold. 

 

_ It’s safe now _

 

He was back in the field with the wispy blossoms. His wet eyes adjusted to the vibrant shades- was he  _ crying?  _

 

“So obedient, aren’t you? Is that why they took so long to find you? I bet even the cops wanted to use that pretty mouths of yours.” 

 

His throat flared with intense discomfort and his cheekbones were drenched with tears. If he could just center his attention to the pain-

 

_ Don’t be afraid,  _ A motherly whisper tickled his ear, and Dick craned his head over the beds of flowers to catch sight of a pale figure. He wanted to go see what it was but his eyes were shut he had to open them-

 

He blinked up to a horrifying scene. But all he could feel was have a rush of sensations he had blocked out crash over him. 

 

A rough hand grasped his hair. He desperately attempted to take slow breaths but the invasion down his throat denied him that. His arms were tingling with rising numbness as they hung limp at his sides.

 

The breeze of the void was still flooding his hearing. It slowly shifted to the actual grunts and moans that were emitting from the man above him. 

 

He  _ had  _ to fight back. He could easily bite down. But then, what if this was a hallucination? What was  _ actually  _ happening? 

 

“I’m so glad I kept tabs on your story,” Roman panted and fisted Dick’s head even closer so his nose brushed his wiry hair, “Who knew Jason had a whore for a brother?” 

 

_ Brother.  _ Dick detested that word when describing his relationship with Jason. Bruce has never officially adopted Dick, just fostered him for a few months before he turned 18. He was still his son, yes, but not legally. 

 

It brought him back to the first night they had ever kissed. 

 

Dick had a vivid nightmare and grew restless in his sleep, so he went to Jason’s room for comfort. Jason had been concerned and told him he could sleep in his bed for tonight. Dick wasn’t sure if he would be comfortable with that but agreed to, anyways.

 

All throughout the night, Jason had whispered soothing words and beautiful truths. Dick couldn’t explain it, but there had always been a spark between them. As the dusk shifted to sunrise, Jason softly pressed his lips onto Dick’s plush ones. It was a fragile kiss, one meant to be remembered as something intimate. 

 

So no, they weren’t  _ brothers.  _

 

Moments of confusion passed before something wet and warm shot into throat which caused him to gag in disgust. He was forced to swallow the horrendous substance he knew too well and at last, the disturbance was removed from his mouth and he was able to flex his jaw sorely. 

 

_ What the fuck just happened?  _ Was the only thought his mind could muster as his sight began to black out again. 

 

Then, when he could adjust his eyes again he was sitting back at his seat. His face was sticky with tears but a rough napkin was wiping at it frantically. 

 

“If you tell  _ anyone  _ about this,” Roman growled, the man sliding back into the chair across from him, “i’ll kill Jason. I have many friends in high places, i’ll find a way to come after him.” The promise stiffened Dick’s shaking body.  _ No. Not Jason. _

 

He couldn’t be responsible for harm to someone he loved. Dick reasoned that his life was already tainted, but he couldn’t risk Jason’s. 

 

Keys jingle against a lock. A door swung open. 

 

“I’m back!” Jason called, hanging his coat up in the rack. The man walked into the kitchen area with a dopey grin and a bottle of alcohol in his arms.

 

Dick bit down on his swollen lip. He noticed with a sort of pride that he had managed to stay still. 

 

Jason poured champagne into a glass and slid it Dick. It was half full. How ironic. 

 

“I’m… going to bed.” Dick announced with a voice he hardly recognized. He felt so far away. 

 

Jason’s eyebrows furrowed together, almost in  _ annoyance _ .

 

“Okay.” Jason huffed, “But I really hope tomorrow you spend more time with us.”

 

Dick stared blankly at Jason, unblinking and unmoving. 

 

“Yes,” Roman agreed, tilting his head slightly, “There’s a lot of things you don’t know yet.”

 

Dick just  _ stared.  _ He racked his brain at what had just occurred, or what he  _ thinks _ occurred, and decided that his comment held a different meaning. 

 

Without another word, he turned around and went to his room. 

 

He got no sleep that night. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love all my readers <3 reading your comments make me so fucking happy & i’m so glad you guys are liking this story!


	10. {10}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yikes.
> 
> Where Is My Mind by The Pixies

“Dick? Are you okay? You’ve been staring into space for the past 5 minutes…”

 

Dick snapped his bowed head to meet Jason’s concerned jades. He blinked a few times in order to regain his sense of direction. They were all eating lunch together at a fancy restaurant downtown. Roman had insisted he had to try the traditional Star City luxuries. To make matters worse, he wasn’t going to The Hickory House today so there was no way to escape this.

 

“Fine. Sorry.” He muttered, his voice still strained from last night. If it had been an illusion, it had to be one of his most vivid ones.

 

“Okay…” Jason trailed off, “Well, want to tell us what you’re planning to achieve this year now that you’re halfway done with treatment?”

 

Dick abused his bottom lip at the tough question. What _were_ his plans for the following months? He was hoping to be well enough to get a car during the summer and get a job somewhere stable. Dinah had suggested for him to work at a horse sanctuary because it’s very therapeutic.

 

“Dunno.” He shrugged, prodding his mashed potatoes with a fork in disinterest. Jason glared at him in such a burning manner that Dick almost didn’t refrain his flinch.

 

Great. Now he pissed off Jason.

 

“I almost forgot, I have to call an employee. I’ll be back in a second.” Roman announced, waving his phone in emphasized as he rose from his seat, pecked Jason’s cheek, and went outside.

 

Now it was just them. Dick’s eyes wandered to distract him from the tension.

 

They had been seated by a window that portrayed the bountiful gardens outside. Ranges of tulips sprouted from the warm earth. Skidding across the wild ferns was a beautiful orange-and-brown flash of feathers. A robin cocked its head towards Dick’s admiration and ruffled it’s pelt in indignation. The scene made his heart tighten with longing.

 

He wished he could be that robin, so free, so careless. Instead, here he was, about to tell his best friend that his boyfriend might’ve orally raped him.

 

“Jason. I need to tell you something.” His voice was strained and slightly hoarse. Jason’s heated expression melted into a passive shock as he sensed the start of something painful.

“Okay. What is it, Pretty Bird?”

 

“Um.. last night…” He struggled to form coherent sentences in his head. How the fuck could he say this with confidence when he was so unsure? It was a brash accusation.

 

And if it was a hallucination, he would get tossed back into the looney bin. Not that it was a bad environment for him. But he just got his life back. He just got _Jason_ back. He couldn’t risk it.

 

“Nothing. Just a bad night’s sleep made me a little grouchy today. I wanted to apologize for.. er… not cooperating.”

 

 _You live with a rapist!_ He inwardly screamed.

 

“Oh. I understand, no worries. It’s only your third day, Dick. It’s going to take some time to settle.” Jason reminded him, a smile finally gracing his perfectly sculptured features.

 

“You’re right. I’m trying, I really am.” Dick promised, and before hesitating, he reached over and gently slipped his hand into Jason’s. Just like the old times.

 

They stayed there for a few moments. Soaking in each other’s nostalgia.

 

“So sorry for the wait.” Roman’s grunt broke the trance. Dick’s hand darted back from across the porcelain clothed table. “I had to fire some slut in accounting”

 

“Anyways, ready for me to ask for the check?”

  


-

 

Dick threw up the little he had eaten when they got back to the apartment.

 

His stomach churned with acid. Bile rose from his throat again as he puked rancid into the toilet. Shivers went down his spine at the now tingly feeling he felt.

 

His head throbbed. His chest tightened. His eyelids weighed down on his wet eyes.

 

He hated this sensation.

 

He hated Zuco, the man who sold him to traffickers.

 

He hated Slade.

 

He hated Lex.

 

He hated Catalina.

 

He hated Roman.

 

Worst of all. He hated himself.

 

 _You idiot. You seriously thought_ Jason _had a thing for whores?! You’re disgusting. You’ve been passed around all off Gotham for years. Imagine how he must look at you. And you made him hate you. You’re worthless. All you’re good for is_

 

“Stop.” Dick moaned, gripping his hands on the toilet seat as he hung his head again and vomited. The acid cascaded out of his swollen lips with a strong burn.

 

He didn’t want this to continue. The cloud of impending doom that loomed over him thickly.

 

_Something bad is happening, something bad is happening something bad is happening something bad is happening something bad is happening_

 

“I said, shut up!” Dick wailed pitifully, his breaths spilling out of him in rapid flares.

 

He wanted to _make it stop._ What had Dinah told him to do to keep calm? He desperately racked his brain but to no avail.

 

_You stupid whore._

 

“I’m not a whore.” Dick gave himself just enough balance to sit up. The room spun violently but he persisted to slouch against the tile wall.

 

“I’m not a whore.” He repeated, quiter, and much weaker. He leaned back further as his world went dark and he slipped into the past.

 

-

 

_The van was dark. It reeked of piss and other bodily fluids he didn’t want to think about. Every so often a bump in the road would jerk his entire body and cause him to smack against the side he was chained to. His arms had already turned numb from the blood circulation being cut due to his cuffed wrist being held overhead. Unfortunately, he could still feel the wires cutting in the skin of his ankles._

 

_It was year 6._

 

_He was fifteen. He had been surprised to hear the auction announcer read off the number. He thought he had to at least be 13 so he assumed he had been with his previous owner for two years._

 

_He figured time flew by since he was heavily drugged most of the time while under Catalaina’s care. His head was still fuzzy at the moment but he remained attentive. The new name he was now tied to was a stranger he had no information on. He would never show it, mainly because he was being watched, but he was really, really fucking terrified. It was a man this time. He was going to miss walking normally._

 

 _Or he might not even be allowed any movement in this new house. He wasn’t sure. Starfire, another slave he had met through one of Catalina’s equally pedophilic friend’s, had told him of the previous horryfying situation she had been in the past. Her previous master didn’t allow her to leave her cell for_ months _at a time. That would be hell._

 

_The vechile came to a sudden stop. Dick chocked on the putrid scent that washed over him._

 

_The doors slid open and the air hit his wounds with a sting that he winced at. The light outside was pale and the sky was dark. He couldn’t see anything past the heaps of forest. The two guards unchained his wrists and hauled him to his feet. He wobbled unsteadily and cried out in agony at his limbs aching from having stayed in that postition for hours._

 

_“Can’t we just fuck him before handing him over?” One of the brutes whined as they both dragged him off the van._

 

_“We can’t mess with the merchandise.” The other one, much leaner in built and shorter than his companion, grunted. He noted how both men were wearing black mask’s over their faces._

 

_“Come on, Rom! Look at that kid. He’s fucking gorgeous. Slade wont be able to tell. I’ll be quick with him, I promise!”_

 

_They froze mid way of their track through the woods. Dick gritted his teeth from hissing in pain at his bleeding feet._

 

_“I’ll fuck him,” The shorter decided firmly, yanking Dick out of the others hold and throwing him into the pebbled ground. Dick shrieked as the jagged rocks embedded themselves into his arms and thighs. “You get to watch.”_

 

_The muscled one frowned but seemed content on his agreement._

 

_“Fine. Whatever. Just make him scream real good, okay?”_

 

_A hand shoved his cheek further into the sharp stone, cool liquid pooling around his face._

 

_“Oh, he will.”_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. {11}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION 
> 
> listen to Junk Of The Heart by The Kooks to connect more with the chapter my dudes

_I wanna make you happy,_

_I wanna make you feel live…_

 

The bold words swirled over his arm. The marker he had used to imprint them felt cool and refreshing against his bare skin.

 

_See, I notice nothing makes you shatter,_

_No no,_

 

He continued to trace the lyrics with great precision. It was his crave for control that was satisfied by doing this. It was almost nostalgic, since the first mental exercise Dinah had taught him was to draw on his arms or legs whenever he felt compelled to cut. Needless to say, it was very efficient. He leaned further into the plush pillow, resting on his headboard as he scribbled the next phrase.

 

_Junk of the heart,_

 

_Is junk of my mind…_

 

He had occupied all the space available on his forearm, but his mind was already at ease. His breathes became placid and even once more.

 

It was currently 3:27 am. The beaming digits on the edge on the clock sitting on his dresser told him so. Sleep sounded so good right now. He could just slip into the comfort of a blissful rest.

 

So he did. It wasn’t hard to. His eyelids were barely clinging open as it was.

 

Darkness.

 

~

 

_A light guitar strummed pleasantly, the clank of drums hitting every beat with passion._

 

_It was more than a year ago, and Dick had gone to an indie festival with Jason. He had begged him to come with, insisting that underground music had descended from the heavens. So Dick joined him, going to the heavily tented area just outside of Gotham. It was closer to Bludhaven, his favorite city to visit._

 

_“Junk of the heart, is junk of my mind. So hard to leave you all aloneee. We get so drunk that we can hardly seee.”_

 

_The Kooks performed on the humble stage that was centered in the camp. Warm hues of violet danced over the over sky as they sung. Dick watched with raw amazement. It was so beautiful. Each note was melted into the next and created a stunning harmony._

 

_“You like the music Dickie?” Jason hollored over the crowd. He was wearing ripped jeans and a black and white checkered, champion sweatshirt that was tucked in with a metal studded, black belt. The style was interesting to Dick, and Jason definitely pulled it off._

 

_“Yes!” Dick called back, grin stretching his lips. Contrary to Jason, Dick wore a simple pale hoodie with the Anarbor, the best alternative rock band, logo decorating the front. It was oversized so he had wore some legging with it, too._

 

_“I wanna make you feel happyyy!” Jason sang, his voice smooth as honey even when magnified. He gently grabbed Dick’s hands and pulled him close, “I wanna make you feel liveee, baby! Let me make you happyyy.”_

 

_Their noses brushed right as the chorus ended and the drummed began their solo. The racket drowned in the background as Dick absorbed Jason’s words and his gorgeous blue-green eyes that studied his own._

 

_Without thinking, Dick lunged forward and kissed Jason._

 

_The kiss was chaste at first, Jason almost recoiling in surprise. But then he eagerly returned the action with great enthusiasm. He tasted like the slight tang of beer and cotton candy._

 

_They pulled away gasping for air, both staring at each other with complete bewilderment._

 

_“What the fuck.” Jason muttered, his mouth gaping and eyes swimming with different emotions. It was their second kiss yet they never spoke of their first one. Dick himself was surprised. He typically rejected all types of affection. But it didn’t seem to matter to him when he was around Jason._

 

_“I-I’m sorry, Jay, I…” Dick was interrupted by Jason carefully cupping his face in his hands and then sealing the space between them with another embrace._

 

_It was beautiful._

 

_“Let me make you happy, I wanna make you feel alive at night”_

 

~

 

Bludhaven, 5:03 am

 

“You got ya eyes on our next victim?”

 

A gruff voice echoed the large, vacant garage. Several splotches off maroon trickled along the grimey walls. Two men faced each other with equal hostility.

 

“I do, yes.” The shorter man huffed, almost urgently, “But we can’t be long. We have to act soon. I don’t want anything getting out.”

 

“It won’t. Just give us a location and we’ll give it a quick drive.” The muscle reassured with a smirk.

 

“Good, good… will you sell him back in the ring?”

 

“Of course. That little whore is words hundreds of thousand. No, maybe a million at this point.” Tall man exclaimed in gross fascination. His skeptical companion nodded briskly and walked towards the flimsy pull up door.

 

“Oh and remember,” Tall man’s warning haunted the room,

 

“If you slip up, it’s _you_ we will take.”

 


	12. {12}

__Dick dozed off drastically as May droned on with the new medications he would be taking. The pills he already took every day caused him extreme fatigue at times. It really sucked, but he figured it was better than have constant panic attacks so he didn’t complain.

“You’ll take Piracetam so you can focus to fight the sleepiness. Take it twice a day every day. Jason told me you’re good with taking your medications so I can trust you, right?”

Dick nodded blearily.

“Great! Another thing. It’s been two months since you’ve settled. How’s it going?”

That was something Dick struggled to figure out.

Almost a month ago, Roman had returned from his two week business trip and Jason and him had gotten in a full blown argument. Dick wasn’t sure what the topic was over, but Jason sure seemed heated. “Piece of shit” and “Get fucked” were thrown around generously through it all. Even though it was 2:00 am, Roman still piled his belongings into a luggage and stormed out of the apartment with slurs of curses tricking out of his scowl.

Dick had been unsure if he should approach Jason, who had been staring after his… ex boyfriend now? With a burning glare. “Little wing?” He approached him slowly from his spot in the kitchen.

Jason hadn’t even acknowledged him.

“Jay… Jason…” Dick hadn’t hesitated to lean over and gently intertwine their hands in an attempt to sooth his best friend, “It’s going to be okay.” He almost laughed at himself for being so shallow and repeating the five words he genuinely despised. They had been repeated so consistently throughout the years that they were an empty promise. But he had hoped that directed towards Jason it would have some effect.

At last, Jason had turned to him with those beautiful jade eyes shining with unshed tears and eyebrows bunched together with agonizing distress.

Then he did something Dick did not expect.

“Jason what are you-” Jason’s mouth had darted towards his and crushed his lips desperately. Dick had resisted his urge to let out a strangled yelp somehow and managed to balance himself from his position, which was pressed against the fridge. This kiss had been unlike the others. This one was full of unleashed fury, agony, and grief.

Teeth grazed his bottom lip and bit down hard enough to draw blood. This time Dick did cry out, which must’ve snapped Jason back to reality since he broke away from him in an instant.

“Oh shit oh shit oh shit.” Jason chanted, his full blown pupils dilating dramatically. Dick had just blinked up at him, absolutely dumbfounded. He noticed the tang of metallic filling his mouth.

“Fucking shit, what did I just- Damn it, Dickie i’m so sorry oh my god…” Jason rambled on, cutting himself off to back away even further from him. The rest of the night had been Jason ushering Dick to bed with an ice pack, bringing him his favorite cereal and mandatory medicine, and cooing comforting words and apologizes all the way until he dozed off.

Dick found that he was not upset. He understood that Jason was overwhelmed. He acted out poorly but who didn’t?

It was strange, though, that even when Jason had been the one hurting, Dick was the one who got pampered.

The next month had been fantastic.

Dick and Jason had done a series of movie nights, yoga, trips downtown, cafe stops, and quality time catching up together. When Dick wasn’t in day time therapy, he was glued to the hip with Jason. Little Wing was once again all his again. There wasn’t an annoying rapist boyfriend there to manipulate him away from Dick, and he was grateful.

But at the same time, Jason was still moping around occasionally. When he had a full breakdown because of the now confirmed break up, Dick had been there to get him a tub of Rocky Road ice cream and turn the tv on to Jersey Shore. This pattern continued for two weeks until Jason seemed to be slightly better. He had confessed to Dick that he hadn’t seen Roman at work ever since he left and wonders if he switched to a different regional office.

Dick still had nightmares, of course. He just tried to forget what might’ve happened by taking his pills and focusing on Jason.

“It’s been good, actually.” Was just a scratch of the surface, but Dick didn’t want to drabble on about his bonding with Jason. He was afraid that if he said it aloud, it wouldn’t be real anymore.

“So glad to hear that! Okay, let me write you a pass so you can head down to the commons…”

After May handed him the thin slip of neon paper, Dick joined Roy and Rose in their game of chess in the cafe. The dark rustic area with warm, golden hues made the coffee scented place aesthetically placid.

“Pretty Bird!” Roy had caught Jason spewing the name one time and from then on picked up the calling with delight, “Guess what? I kicked Rose’s ass in chess. It was totally epic.” The redhead had a wide grin among his rugged features, motioning towards a pouting Rose.

“One time! It was one time, ugh.” She whined, blinking up at Dick in feigned misery with her icy, grey-blue eye. Dick chuckled, finding a chair beside Roy to sit on, and leaned on his elbows against the table. “Don’t be a sore loser.”

Rose stuck her tongue out. Roy repeated the action while Dick rolled his gaze. Sometimes I forget Rose is only 15 and Roy is already 23. Ha.

Dick eventually stood to grab his usual vanilla, almond milk, iced latte. He returned to find Roy gone and Rose studying her lap intensely.

“Rose,” Dick began slowly in alarm, “Where’d Roy go?”

Rose averted her gaze, her white strands following her. “Uh… Dick… there’s something I have to tell you.” There’s definitely something wrong, Dick decided, slipping back into one of the chairs.

“Okay.”

“Roy and I got in argument. He wouldn’t want you to know but… .”

“What? Why?”

“Because….”

Rose drew in a sharp breath only to exhale it and burst out with statement that shattered the perfect months he had envisioned ahead of him.

“Roy’s leaving.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick note- i love you guys  
> genuinely  
> thank you much for all your support on this story. I am so glad you guys are liking it so much.  
> I'm back to regular updates which is awesome. You probably could've already seen but i'm just addressing it now that I'm completely off hiatus.  
> Little about me (if u care lmaoo) kinda like a get to know ur writer ig  
> my name is Dove  
> I'm 18  
> I have blonde hair blue eyes (ew im basic sorry dudes)  
> some stuff happening in my life: I just signed with a modeling agency which is- unbelievable to me tbh. I'm in disbelief. Despite everything going relatively good in my life guess who's back. My depression!! And anxiety!! :,) So I'm back in therapy which is ugh. My first session is today so let's see how that goes.  
> love you all <3


	13. {13}

Roy leaving The Hickory House was devastating.

The patients all showed their farewells by making colorful cards and signing a huge poster board. Dick and Rose binge watched his favorite action movies (the ones that didn’t involve any triggers for any of them. Needless to say it was rather difficult.). After that, him and Roy listened to Mac Demarco Salad Days album on repeat and smoked cigarettes together.

It was their last sneak out to their balcony, that was low of the ground and had a beautiful view of the glistening lake. They passed each other the intoxicating roll and shared passionate words in between.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Dick handed Roy the stick, both men still staring at the evening scenery.

“I know.” Roy puffed out a clouded breath, returning the action.

“If you get worse, I’ll personally find you and drag your ass back here.” It was a promise Dick was willing to keep.

Roy had told him a week ago that he was ready venture out and give his life a fifth chance. It had been after Rose not so subtly told him about his upcoming departure. And after Dick had yelled at him for a good ten minutes, they agreed that Roy was prepared to take on the ugly world that waited smugly for him.

“My new job will keep me in line for sure, though. Plus, Artemis will be on my ass 24/7.” Roy pointed out, flicking ash onto the railing.

“Maybe you’ll see Jason around. Since you too will be working at Wayne Industries.”

Roy glanced at him thoughtfully. “Yeah. Maybe. Actually come to think of it, my coworkers are throwing me a shitty welcome party at the Outcasts bar on Friday. Wanna come with?”

“Sure. I’ll ride with Jay, though, if that’s good.”

“‘Course.”

Neither of them spoke for a while. They traded cigarettes among themselves until they went through the remaining half a pack.

“Dick…”

“Yes?”

“Will you be alright?”

Dick tilted his head to the side.

“Well, duh.”

Roy mimicked his position but with furrowed eyebrows. “It’s going to suck not talking to you everyday.”

“We can talk on the phone and text, don’t worry.”

“It won’t be the same.” Roy sighed, running his fingers through his kinked ginger hair that barely brushed past his ears.

“Oh.” Dick uttered quietly, returning to stare at the lake intently.

“Dick?” He ignored Roy for a brief second to collect himself and then shifted his head once more. “Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Roy…”

“As friends, I swear.”

But Dick was already leaning forward, eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones gently as he met Roy’s awaiting thin lips.

As the kiss deepened and they faced one another, Roy slinked his hands over Dick’s slim waist and pulled him close. The embrace was sad, exciting, and brimming with fondness at the same time. It was hard to disfigure where it was heading, so Dick eventually broke away with an affectionate smile.

“As friends.”

-

Friday rolled around fast.

Before Dick knew it, he was waiting patiently at the door for Jason to get his ass in the car.

“Jay Bird,” Dick whined as he peeked his head into Jason’s bedroom, “Come onnn!” Jason mumbled grouchily in response but he quickly slipped his belt on and hurried out the door.

As they trudged towards the apartment parking lot, Dick slipped his hands into Jason’s. “Remember when you helped me sneak out of the manor and you got into a fight the bar? Bruce was so fucking pissed.” He recalled the memory with a light laugh. It wasn’t funny at the time, no, they had both been mortified. But now he was able to recollect it with amusement.

Jason smirked down at him. “Yeah. Bruce took my motorcycle for a month and Alfred kept overcooking my food. It was torture.” They both chuckled.

Dick missed the manor dearly, but living with Jason had given him a new sense of freedom he didn’t know existed. It felt as if the world was back in his grasp.

“Are you excited to work with Roy?” Dick asked. They got in the car and Jason started the engine. “Yeah, I can’t wait to have him and Wally talking my ear off.” He scoffed.

Dick hummed at the mention of Wally. He had met him a few times and he got along pretty well with the redhead.

“Good luck.” Dick meant it. Secretly, he envied his friend. Despite being free, the Hickory House kept him on a tight leash. He couldn’t wait until he was able to wake up late and have a productive day pursuing his passions. He wasn’t sure what they were though.

Mo’s Irish Pub was a dark evergreen shade and it seemed crowded. It was dark out due to it being 7:00 in the night so the letters illuminated golden above them as they walked inside.

They immediately spotted Roy taking shots surrounded by group of men and three women who Dick assumed were his coworkers. They were seated at the bar along with several other people. He recognized Wally and Artemis from the cheering bunch and greeted them with a wave.

“Yoo! Jason and Dick are here!” Wally exclaimed, nudging Roy with his elbow. Roy turned to Dick, beaming, and rushed up to hug him.

“Hey Birdie! So glad you could make it.” Roy grinned when he pulled away, and hugged Jason who returned the gesture. Him and Jay have gotten pretty close over the past months, Dick observed.

They joined the group of Wayne Industries workers, who greeted Dick with a warm smile.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Artemis moved to sit next to Dick while Jason ordered some drinks. Sadly, alcohol was still of limits for him, “Jason won’t shut up about you. He’s always telling us how amazing you are. I find it adorable. You two must be close.” Dick felt heat rise up his face. Jason talks about me? Something about that thought made his heart flutter.

“We are.” He agreed, “He’s a great friend.”

Artemis nodded curtly, then speculated him. “If you don’t mind me discussing it, I’ve heard about your story. I think you’re an extremely strong individual and I really admire you for what you’ve achieved. I hope the world will treat you kindly from now on.”

Dick wasn't surprised that she knew. The press has covered his entire court case for years. There are dozens of articles about him that have gone viral. It didn’t faze him to be confronted about it.

“Thank you. That means a lot.” He could tell that Artemis wasn’t one to hand out compliments so quickly, so he really did appreciate it. The bartender placed Artemis’ drink down just as Dick rose from his seat. “I’m headed to the restrooms. Could you let Jason know?”

“Sure.”

He weaved through the hoard of people to find the nearest restrooms. Once he spotted the navy blue symbols hanging towards the back of the building, he slunk away from the crowd and made his way towards the narrow hallway.

Just as he turned the corner, a sharp spark of pain hit the back of his head and he crumbled to the floor.

His world was about to be destroyed.

Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in too tired to explain shit rn so i’ll edit this tmrw.  
> hope u guy liked it


	14. {14}

He thought he’d be used to it by now.

 

The darkness engulfing his vision. The wire searing into his wrists and ankles. The numbness of his arms from holding such an uncomfortable position for so long. The hits against the top of the trunk his body endured each time they went over a road bump

 

Admittedly, he was used to those sensations. He’d been in this exact position dozens of times before.

 

But the screaming occurring inside his head was one he could not prepare for, regardless of the familiarity of the situation.

 

_You’re going to die. This is it, they’re going to rape and kill you. They won’t risk getting caught now that you’ve been seen by the public. You’re completely and utterly fucked, Grayson._

 

His hopelessness would’ve been easier to cope with if his anxiety was rupturing every single comprehensible sentence.

 

_YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD_

 

He gritted his teeth against the rancid fabric tied around his mouth. His chest heaved with shallow breaths. He had to focus on _breathing._ If he wanted to get the fuck out of this mess he had to put himself together first.

 

_Take deep breaths. Count. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8._

 

Dick latched onto Dinah’s soothing reminder and followed the instructions. He ignored the putrid scent in his space and measured his breathing.

 

After several counts, the screaming in his head toned down drastically. He was finally able to assess his current situation.

 

He couldn’t recall where he’d been before he had been tossed inside a trunk. He figured it was a smaller car by how cramped it was inside. The last memory he could collect was this morning ( _or was it a few mornings ago…?_ ) at the breakfast table, him and Jason watching an episode of Chopped on his couch while eating some Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

 

He didn’t appear to be harmed in the process of getting abducted, though his head was throbbing painfully. He figured it was from whoever had knocked him out. He really hoped he hadn’t gained a concussion, it would make escaping so much harder.

 

The road they were driving on had to be a highway. Dick could hear the ear splitting howling of the car speeding among the pavement. Thankfully, there were rarely any dents.

 

The smell of stale blood and what he could only guess was piss from previous hostages tainted the minimal air venting in his space. On top of that, his mobility was limited, his sight was restricted, and all chances of overhearing any conversations inside the car were drowned out by the highway.

 

 _Great._ Dick didn’t attempt to block out his sarcasm, but he did attempt to find something he had to his advantage.

 

He had his clothes on.

 

He was fully dressed and he was so fucking grateful that his eyes teared up and soaked the cloth they were under. He desperately held onto that realization with newfound confidence.

 

 _This won’t be like the other times. I_ will _get out of here._

 

He had taken several self defense and kickboxing classes ever since he was first rescued, so he had a skill he could possibly use. But first he would try to run without a hassle. He couldn’t risk injuring himself trying to fight and destroy his only chances of seeing his family again.

 

His family.

 

He should’ve taken Damian to the zoo after getting released to half day treatment. He should’ve gone with Tim to watch that new documentary that was showing at the cinema downtown. He should’ve helped Alfred with his cooking around the manor. He should’ve let Bruce visit despite his strive for independence.

 

He should’ve done so many things when he had the chance. He knew better than anyone not let these opportunities slip past his fingers. But he was too wrapped up with Roman and Jason, it hadn’t been his current priority.

 

He dully noted how cold it was getting.

 

This wasn’t good. There was no heater in the trunk and this would make him lethargic. That also meant they were definitely at least at the outskirts of Star City.

 

He wondered if Jason knew by know. Or if the police had seen him get snatched and were on their way.

 

 _Oh God…_ was Jason okay? What if someone had broken into the apartment? _Oh fuck._

 

His concern was interrupted by sudden halt of the car, causing him to jolt backwards against the carpet.

 

He heard the trunk click open. A series of muffled voices met his ears, though he could barely catch what they were saying.

 

Suddenly, his tied arms were yanked upwards harshly and his body was thrown over a broad shoulder with ease. The icy breeze was blowing mercilessly, and he felt himself being carried along by one of his captors. He picked up three different voices during their hushed exchanges.

 

It took Dick all of his willpower to stay limp, since he was relying on the chance of possibly catching them off guard. Even when his captor’s hand started to wander, he forced himself to imperonsate a rag doll.

 

“We’re headed uphill. Catch up.” A deep voice rumbled from the man carrying him, one he did not recognize. A sheepish reply came from another stranger, but Dick was distracted by the sudden biting pain seeping from his arm.

 

He mentally cursed himself when he released a pained moan and he jittered slightly. The awkward angle he was being lifted in caused the wire to slice in deeper onto his wrist.

 

If the men noticed, they chose not to comment.

 

They halted after what he guessed was around 30 minutes. The man carrying him shifted him to his other shoulder. “Take your money and leave. I’ll let him know that you’ve completed your part of the deal.”

 

“Yeah, okay. But this better fucking stay here, you hear?” A new voice made Dick stiffen.

 

“It will. Pleasure doing buisness with you, Roman.”

 


	15. {15}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before this chapter starts, I just want to say thank you all for supporting this story. I’m so happy that in 2 months, i’ve managed to post consistently and have put 15 chapters that you guys seem to love so far. This is new for me. I got the concept because I adore reading memoirs about a survivor's journey, which I admire. It also has helped me vent some personal issues I face/faced in real life.  
> I love words so much. The way they flow into one another with such ease has kept my passion for it alive.  
> Every comment makes my day and motivates me to write more <3 I appreciate the fuck out of you guys ILY ALL.

“Not much of a talker, are you?”

 

If Dick hadn’t been tossed over his shoulder, he would’ve fought the urge to punch his abductor. Lo (he had heard the other man with them address him by that) was at last aware of Dick’s consciousness due to his uncomfortable thrashing and grunts of protest whenever he fondled with his ass. If he’d been able to talk, no thanks to the rag caging his mouth, he’d would’ve cursed up a storm by now.

 

It had been an hour ever since Roman disparted from the group.

 

The sting of betrayal was sharp, yet Dick was not surprised. That meant the incident had actually occurred, it wasn’t just a mind game anymore. This was real.

 

“Almost there, sweetheart.” Lo grumbled, his grip on his back and legs thigh tightening. Dick hissed in hatred in return.

 

He tilted his head slightly upwards and to an angle, so that his blindfold would be able to slip down slightly on one eye. He frantically took in the scenery while he had the chance.

 

They area was heavily wooded with pine trees. It was dark, but he could see the orange hue of the sun starting to peak over the forest. When Lo turned around to instruct something to the other man, Dick got a clear view of where they were headed.

 

The building was concrete and grey. It was wide and had at least four stories inside. Across the side with white letters, Primrose Elementary was printed out. Towering, spike lined gates lined the entire facility, almost like a prison.

 

“Lo!” The other man must’ve seen, and Lo harshly threw him onto the ground. Dick landed on his back with a sickening thud, his head snapping against the pebbled ground.

 

“Motherfucker!” Lo snarled, leering down on him, “Trying to trick us, huh? Think you can just pull shit like this and get away with it, little bitch?”

 

Dick could only gasp desperately due to the wind being knocked out of him, and stare up at Lo’s sneering, broad face. “Mike,” Lo barked to the other man without breaking eye contact, “Tell them we’re here but that I have to do something first.”

 

Mike scurrying away was the last thing he observed before Lo grabbed his shoulders and forced him onto his knees. No. Not this again. Dick mourned, squirming desperately.

 

“Comply or i’ll break your leg, Pretty Boy.” Lo warned, unzipping his pants, “They want your ass, they don’t need you to be unharmed.”

 

Dick refused to let the choking sob escape him. He couldn’t be injured, or he might as well be sentenced here for life. He reluctantly decided that he couldn’t jeopardize his escape.

 

Throughout everything, Dick was unable to slip into the void in his head. He couldn’t stop thinking about beautiful jade eyes and single white streaked, sable hair.

 

That’s probably why he started crying. Because he was fucking terrified of never seeing Jason again.

 

Thankfully, Lo spilled onto the forest floor instead of his mouth. Dick was sure he would’ve vomited it if he had. “Come on bitch,” Lo grunted, yanking his wired wrists upwards and slinging him over his shoulder again.

 

“Where are we going.” Dick rasped hoarsely. He didn’t expect Lo to respond, yet he did. “Brothel.” He spat venomously, “You have a long line of clients waiting for you.”

 

“Get fucked.” Dick choked out in rage at the new set of information.

 

Lo let out an ugly laugh, matching the hideous face that Dick wanted to break. “I won’t be, slut. But you fucking will. Every single day. Good luck with STD’s, bitch.”

 

They reached the gates of the brothel, the impressive height almost intimidating. Two masked guards with rifles greeted Lo. They exchanged some words among themselves but Dick was already zoning out.

 

He was trying to think of a plan, but nothing came to mind. He would need to gather more intel on this facility before taking action. There was no space for mistakes.

 

The entrance swung open with a creak and Lo hurried along the pavement. His blindfold had been wrapped over his eyes after Dick had been forced to give the man oral, but he could still peek through a tear in the fabric. 

 

“I’m taking you to orientation with the newbies.” Lo asserted, stepping in the cool aired building. Dick grimaced. Orientation wasn’t going to be fun, he guessed. But he had to stay strong. He had to do this. For Jason.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short ass chapter my dudes!  
> the next one will be longer I pinky promise


	16. {16}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh, hello again.  
> This chapter is short. Im sorry my dudes. Whoops.  
> thank you so so much for all the supportive comments. I’m so incredibly thankful for all of you, you have no idea.  
> I love you all so much.  
> Important though before reading- This chapter is a bit bland. It’s kind of a filler. Im just now feeling a little better so I don’t want to ruin it by going all dark. The next one will be better I promise. Again, thank you so much. I love you guys.

Not for the first time in his life, Dick couldn’t think.

 

His mind was completely wiped of anything comprehensible and replaced with sheer blankness. The previous priority of forming a plan slipped from his thoughts. His focus was solely on counting his breaths and picking up as many conversations Lo had as possible.

 

“That the Grayson kid?”

 

“Damn right.”

 

“Think I could have a turn before you pass him over to Boss?”

 

“No way in hell, Maverick. I ain’t risking my ass for _his_ ass.”

 

After the small exchange, Lo seemed to have picked up his pace by a considerable amount. The facility they were in had concrete floors, he noted, as well as a freezing temperature. Even in his button up shirt and slacks, Dick was shivering. This confirmed that wherever he was, it was far away from Star City.

 

Dick would’ve lifted his head to gain a wider view of the hallway they were walking down, but he could spot the many guards’ shoes as they passed them. This place was packed with security.

 

Finally, he felt Lo shift his hold on him and a door creaked open heavily.

 

The first thing he could process was the acidic scent that engulfed his senses. He gagged at the cloth against his mouth, squirming frantically as he recognized it to be blood. It was overwhelming.

“Hold still.” Lo shrugged him off his shoulder and laid him onto the cold, concrete floor. To his horror, he felt blood seep into his shirt fabric. He wanted to vomit but couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten anything.

 

“Boss, he’s right here.”

 

“Line him up with the others.” A new voice, low and raspy, echoed throughout what he assumed to be a garage of some sort. He shifted onto his stomach as Lo roughly kicked him towards another tied body.

 

“Strip him.”

 

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ Dick let out a small whine when Lo sliced the shirt and pants protecting his bare skin. The rogue yanked harshly at the cloth and proceeded to slowly slip his boxers down.

 

 _Keep yourself together, Grayson,_ he could hear Damian hiss in his head. But he was naked. Defenseless against what was about to happen. Remaining calm would be a challenge.

 

He heard the clicks of a camera slowly making its way down the row of people, stopping when it got to him. “Get another shot of his ass.” Dick heard ‘Boss’ order.

 

After the rogues were satisfied with their pictures, he strained to overhear what Lo was saying to ‘Boss’. The people down the row were sobbing and drowning out anything shared between them.

 

“Take them to lockup.”

 

A new pair of rougher hands pulled Dick up on his feet shakily. His breaths were trembling with rising panic. Then, the man jerked him forward and ripped off his blindfold, exposing Dick to the dim lighting in the concrete room.

 

“Follow me.” The guy gruffed, and Dick was too tired to complain. He rather store his energy for any possible chance of escape. He stumbled along, and glanced back to catch sight of the other captives. His stomach curled in disgust at what he say.

 

It was ten people in total. Two of them were definitely between the ages 6 and 8. Dick had to bite back a furious snarl at the sight of a guard practically dragging them by the wrists.The rest varied from teenage years to early 20s, like him. The eyes that met his were either empty, wide with terror, or glassy with tears.

 

The rogue led him down a narrow, dark hall. It seemed that all lights in the facility were the same bleak, yellow tone.

 

“Get in.” Dick was shoved in a cell, and that was when he was finally struck with the reality of the situation. The room he was stored in had a single bed, toilet with curtain up front, and a sink. Everything was matching a gloomy shade of gray. But at least he had a blanket and pillow.

 

“I’ll come back for you later, pretty boy.” The man promised maliciously, and slid the glass door shut. He observed as the man twisted a lock and walked down the other rows of confinements.

 

Across from him were more rooms with the same glass door that he could easily see past. Everyone seemed to be either sleeping or crying.

 

Dick bit his lip to withhold his own tears. _This is really happening._

 

 _No._ A firmer voice replaced the other, _Not this time._

 

His confidence was flaring past his other frantic emotions, grounding him enough to start planning a way out. He’d have to wait, he admitted, but he had a lot patience. He would make them pay. And he would get home to Jason. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	17. Update- new admin

Hello everyone! 

This is Briar, i’m going to be taking over this story from now on.

No worries though, sweetdove has handed this story to me and we’ve discussed where this was headed so I hope not to disappoint! She had the next chapter halfway done so i’m going to work on it as of now to have it up ASAP!!

she’s going to be my beta reader so don’t stress about me ruining this or anything hehe (: 

side note- I have another ao3 acc so I‘m not new to writing fics. I just couldn’t stand this fic being abandoned lol. 

 

(for those asking, dove’s doing good! i’m a friend of her girlfriend so we talk regularly. i can assure she’s fine. just isn’t able to continue this fic. oh and if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for future chapters, make sure to comment!)


	18. {18}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey demons, it’s me, ya boi (Briar) 
> 
> here’s my first ever contribution to this work. Let me know what you think in the comments peeps! 
> 
> So I had to make the new chapter from scratch cause Dove, being the dumb bitch she is (jk jk I love her stoopid ass. plus it’s her birthday so i won’t be ro0d) accidentally deleted the one she was halfway done with. 
> 
> Hope this wasn’t too bad.  
> Also- I’ll be updating every Wednesday.

As a child, his mother used to call him _Robin_. The name itself was so free-spirited. It tested no boundaries and graced over any limits.

 

But most importantly, Robin meant _safe._ Robin meant his mother’s comfort. Robin meant his father’s assurance. Robin meant campfires at the circus. Robin meant a crowd roaring with praise and approval. Robin meant… Robin meant _home._

 

As Dick studied the concrete wall in front of him for the fiftieth time, he wondered what it meant now.

 

He was caged again, afterall. His wings had been viciously clipped. Robin no longer sparked _safety._ It no longer warmed him with _familiarity._

 

No, that ended the moment his parents fell from the trapeze.

 

Dick figured, maybe _Robin_ should mean nothing at all.

 

At least, after this.

 

But before… well, there was a moment back at the manor, only months prior to this, that he felt the same fire that once belonged to Robin. It was brief, but he really felt like he could fly again.

 

~

 

_“You’re a bitch, Grayson.” Jason teased, elbowing Dick in the stomach lightly as they wrestled for his phone._

 

 _“I’m_ the _bitch,_ Todd, _” Dick corrected coyly with a smirk, grabbing a hold of the device while kneeing Jason away from him. He then unlocked it and started scanning his notifications._

 

_“Don’t you dare-”_

 

_“Ooo, who’s Isabel?”_

 

_“I hate you.”_

 

_“She cute?” Dick wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, amused by the way Jason furiously blushed._

 

_Sure, Dick felt crushed by finding this girl’s contact with heart emojis, but he shoved that away for the sake of his growing friendship with his kinda-maybe-sorta-brother._

 

_“She’s just a friend.” Jason defended while shooting forward to swipe the phone from Dick’s peering eyes._

 

_“O-kayyyy.” Dick drawled out. He watched bemused as Jason gave him an odd look. It was awkwardly quiet for a few moments._

 

_“Uh, Dickhead. I haven’t told you yet which is my bad but I’m, like, pretty gay so, ya know. I’m not into chicks as much as I’m into di-”_

 

_“I think I got it.” Dick cut in, his triumphant expression morphing into faint surprise, “I had no clue Jason. Thanks for, um, confiding in me.”_

 

_A slight grin curved Jason’s lips._

 

_“‘Course, Dickiebird. I trust you.”_

 

 _Dick’s breath stifled at the last bit, truly touched_ _by Jason’s confession. It was Dick’s 11th month at the manor, and their relationship had gone so far in such little time. Their silent kisses were never discussed, but were always drifting at the back of their minds._

 

_“Thanks Jay. That… that means a lot. Really.”_

 

_“Yeah, dude. No problem.” Jason replies lowly as he leaned forward, closing the space between them. He was inches away from Dick’s face, but not in an invasive way._

 

 _It was more intimate, something that maybe-sorta-brothers probably shouldn’t share. Yet, it was so natural between them. Like a dance that was approaching the end,_ no, _a beginning. It was weird that neither of them spoke of the flame that rose when they interacted. It was steady, yet so, so needy. Slowly drawing them nearer, and nearer to-_

 

_“Dick I…. I think I li-”_

 

~

 

The steps that echoed within the hallway snapped Dick away from his thoughts.

 

 _Ugh._ He wanted to relive the moment he had just been in. The moment that could distract him from the hell he was currently in.

 

The only comfort Dick found is at least that he’s done this all before.

 

He’s endured this in the past and he eventually got rescued. Everything would turn out, but this time, he wouldn’t, _couldn’t,_ wait years for someone to find him. Dick was determined to fly again. They couldn’t keep his wings tied forever. He simply wouldn’t allow this time around.

 

“Come on, pretty boy,” The man from before growled as he slid the glass door open, “You’re wanted elsewhere.”

 

Denial clawed at Dick’s chest as the man approached him. _No. Not this._

 

Funnily enough, all the authorities had once told him that there was no way it hell he was going to be touched like this again. Even Bruce had _promised._ Back then, that was enough.

 

 _Bruce isn’t here right now._ He reminded himself, _You’ve done this hundreds of times before. One more time won’t kill you._

 

So Dick let himself be handcuffed and dragged down the narrow hall, avoiding eye contact with the other slaves. He couldn’t bare to see what he could look like in a few months.

 

Thankfully without a blindfold, he was able to speculate the facility he was being led down. The walls and floor were white, and scare decorations hung eerily.

 

A few guards seemed to be stationed in various areas, all of them carrying a sort of weapon. Mostly automatic, Dick noted.

 

The man finally stopped at a chipped, mahogany door frame that bordered identical set ups. Dick fought not to snarl a few curses at his captor as he was tossed inside with a rough shove.

 

“You better not fight me or it’ll only be worse for you, bitch.”

 

Dick didn’t need to be told twice as he was dumped onto a rock-hard mattress that squelched with the sound of what he hoped was only blood. He thrashed at first as the gashes along his wrists were agonizingly opened due to them being tied to the headboard, but remained silent when four more men entered the room.

 

Dick was left to watch in horror as they leered shamelessly at him. It was almost as if they weren’t aware of their own sins. It made him sick.

 

Soon enough, when the first man climbed onto the bed, Dick started to hyperventilate. He desperately tried to focus on his shuttered, ragged breaths so he could possibly ignore the grabs made at his skin. But he could only tolerate so much.

 

The disgusting probing occurring between his thighs finally made him snap and snarl in fury. How dare  these fuckers think they can just use his body like this? After years of the reoccurring torture, he failed to understand any reasoning behind their actions. Maybe it was their own disgusting, twisted greed. Dick wanted to kick and scream and fight and do anything, _anything_ to make this go away.

 

But most of all, Dick desperately wanted  _to be with Jason again._

 

He wanted to burn under the heat only they shared and just feel something, _anything,_ other than the agony thrusting into him.

 

As Dick choked on his own tears, no, _therewassomethinginhismouthnowohgod-_ he reminded himself that nothing would ever happen under wistful thinking.

 

So Dick did his best to stifle his screams and slip into his mind.

 

Somewhere, _anywhere,_ safe.

 

_Jason._

 

_I’ll find you again._

 

_We’ll fly together someday._

_I promise._

 


	19. {19}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeo! 
> 
> **READ BEFORE STARTING CHAPTER**
> 
> this isn’t a regularly formatted chapter, since this a phone conversation between Jason and The FBI. It has the same consistent pattern so there shouldn’t be any confusion. 
> 
> bolded = jason   
> not bolded = unlucky FBI agent 
> 
> I will still be posting on Wednesday my dudes, don’t worry. it’ll be a lengthy regularly formatted chapter. sorry this one is so short but it’s necessary for future tingz :P

_ click _

__  
  


“Mr. Todd, the FBI needs you to state your current involvement with the Grayson case.”

__  
  


**“He was my adopted brother, you pricks.”**

__  
  


“Your cooperation is in your best interest, Mr.  Todd.”

__  
  


**“It hasn’t even been a month and you’re still up my ass about this? For the last time,** **_no,_ ** **I didn’t scheme my own brother’s abduction. No, I was not fucking aware that the piece of shit that goes by Roman Sionis had been planning any of this.”**

__  
  


“We will decide when it will be the last time, Mr. Todd. For now, do you understand that your previous relationship with Sionis makes you one of our prime suspects?”

__  
  


**“I** **_didn’t know_ ** **. How many more times do you need to hear it until you get it through your thick fucking skulls?!”**

__  
  


“Language, Mr. Todd. If you firmly believe so, then would you mind answering a few more questions?”

__  
  


“ **Shoot** .”

__  
  


“Recount the night Dick Grayson went missing.”

__  
  


“ **I’ve done this seven times-”**

__  
  


“You’ll do it as many times as we want you to.”

__  
  


“ **Fine. Dick and I went to the bar Clocktower to meet up with some friends at 7:50 pm ish. We were late to show up. I was talking with my friend Wallace West when Artemis told me Dick went to go use the restroom. After about half an hour, I got worried so I went to go check on him. I couldn’t find him anywhere so yeah, I called the police.** ”

__  
  


“So you weren’t aware that Roman Sionis had drugged then kidnapped Grayson during that thirty minute window?”

__  
  


**“Of course I fucking wasn’t. I would never-”**

__  
  


“Do you know the current whereabouts of Roman Sionis?”

__  
  


“ **No** .”

__  
  


“Had Roman Sionis ever mentioned his plan to abduct Dick Grayson?”

__  
  


“ **No** .”

__  
  


“Has Roman Sionis tried to contact you this past month?”

__  
  


“ **No** .”

__  
  


“Have you tried to get in contact with Roman Sionis this past month?”

__  
  


“ **_No_ ** .”

__  
  


“Do you have any idea of where Richard Grayson could be?”

__  
  


**“..... I- I don’t know. Safe, somewhere, I hope.”**

__  
  


“Do you realize that is probably not the case?”

__  
  


“ **Do you realize you guys are insensitive fucks?”**

__  
  


“We’re just trying to help find your brother, Mr. Todd.”

__  
  


“ **Yeah, ‘cause that’s going so well.”**

__  
  


“.... Lastly, we need you to tell us what you know about the Red Hood.”

__  
  


“ **Who** ?”

__  
  


“The Red Hood is a criminal that has been fatally injuring dozens of people for the past 2 weeks. Mainly those who are involved with illegal trafficking.”

__  
  


“ **Huh. Sounds like a fun guy.”**

__  
  


“He’s been spotted here, in Gotham. But mainly throughout Blüdhaven. We’ve found that there are about 15 deaths connected to him.”

__  
  


“ **Bet he’s fun at parties.”**

__  
  


“Enough. Jason Peter Todd, do you swear by the law that you are not or ever have ever been involved with The Red Hood in any sense?”

__  
  
  
  


“ **Hmm** .”

__  
  


“Mr. Todd?”

__  
  


**“I swear that with or without the law, Dick Grayson will get justice.”**

__  
  


_ click _

__  
  


_ *dial tone* _


End file.
